Hakuna Matata

Steven Phan. 1. I take pictures 2. I love music. 3. I love meeting new people. 4. Grindin til I'm tired

<3 CTP

In the end…

Hard days, hard nights, hard times come now and then…

it’s how we approach them and recognize that they’re not forever that will get us through the tough patch.

I have no one I can rely on but myself and I need to stay strong to support myself. This is how I feel now, how I’ve felt before, and the only constant in my life that I will always be able to count on myself. 

You forget what people say and what they do, but you never forget how someone makes you feel.  - Maya Angelou 

I wanna not feel so lost again… 

So this happened last week…. 

Not much to say besides thank you to everyone that’s been a part of my journey. 

I thank you for lessons I’ve learned from those that were and that still choose to be a part of my life. 

Wait till you see what’s next… 

2 years ago

I gave up my motorcycle, race car, and photography to come to Corvallis and get my degree. 

I sold everything I loved doing for the greater good of knowing I needed my education. 

in 2 months, I graduate. so even though I was able to save and buy new toys, it was well worth giving up to begin with.

#Longtermgratification  

  • student: hey government can I have some money to go to university
  • uk government: sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
  • scottish government: nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
  • us government: no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker.

My Fears

I’m a bank teller. 

I deal with people every day. Some people I see more often and create relationships with, others come and go.

At my old job, a lady used to come in every other Friday to get some grocery money and money to pay the man that does her yardwork. 

85 years old when I met her, she was still driving around and doing things on her own. By the time she was 86, her daughter was driving her around and by 87 an assisted living facility shuttle would bring her by. 

From the first day I met her, she’d hold my hand as I did her transaction. I’d do the entire thing one handed because she’d grasp my hand with both of hers and just smile. Her hands were always cold, but she’d always hold on and smile as we talked about her last two weeks away from me. I absolutely adored this woman because she was so sweet and reminded me so much of my own grandfather. He’d hold my hand while we talked too. 

Fast forward to now, I work at a different bank inside a grocery store. I see her outside looking around as if she were lost. We made eye contact, I waved and run out to say hi. She grabs my hand, smiles big and asks me if I’ve seen her daughter. - I say no, I haven’t seen Carol around… 

She then asks me if I know her. My heart dropped a little. I said of course, and reminded her of our conversations and laughs at the old bank. She said oh those sound like good times, but I’ve lost all my short term memory. You look awfully familiar but I just don’t remember and I’m so sorry. 

She still held and squeezed my hands, smiled and spoke to me just as I remembered. I helped her find her daughter who thanked me and caught up with me for a quick second before i was running back to work. 

I think about all the relationships I’ve come across, the memories I’ve made. I worry about death, and losing everything but being alive and losing all these things could be just as bad. 

I’ll go about my days thinking about her and how a simple sweet smile could brighten my day, it sucks knowing that she won’t be able to do the same with the memories and experiences she’s had. 

thepsychobrentt:

HOW CAN WE BE HAPPY&#160;?
Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.
Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.
At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon. Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.
The speaker began— exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.
Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness. And this is the purpose of human life.

thepsychobrentt:

HOW CAN WE BE HAPPY ?

Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar.
Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.

Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.

At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon.
Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it.
Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.

The speaker began— exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.

Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness.
And this is the purpose of human life.

(via beautifulakiko)

Ty Dolla $ign

—Or Nah (Remix) (feat. Wiz Khalifa & The Weeknd)

Yes.

(Source: fitoraemusic, via shalang)

Am I hard on myself?

Yeah, I suppose.

But at the end of the day, I’ve only myself to rely on. 

If I’m hard on myself, I am my motivation.

Living my life for me, succeeding and prospering on my own. 

Support is nice, but true friends are few and far between. I’ve come to accept this and am here fighting, struggling, and progressing on my own two feet. 

Grind on my friends, and do it for you.